Deciphering Dog Bios

Rescuing a dog is a wonderful thing, helping a dog from a shelter or rescue is important. 

It is important though that you read the bios carefully as they are written to give you an idea of what kind of personality the shelter or rescue has seen from the dog. Pay attention to the details, not just the picture, or the age, or the breed. Read the bio with a grain of salt as they are written to put the dog’s information out there in the best possible way. 

Before anyone gets all upset wondering why we don’t just put things out there straight forward, because we’ve been bashed for it before. That’s right, telling the absolute, naked truth about a dog has gotten us bashed. Not being straight forward has also gotten us bashed. We can’t win, that’s just a fact, no matter what we say or don’t say, no matter what we do or don’t do someone will bash us. 

What we have found is funny and catchy bios is usually what gets the less “pretty” dogs adoption attention. You have a small dog or a fluffy dog and you could literally post it’s an asshole that will bite you for breathing and 50 people will still want it. Post a dog that isn’t eye candy or tiny enough to carry in your clutch purse for the grammy’s but is perfect in every way-NO INTEREST. 

Does the dog have a behavior or medical issue that makes it special needs and will only be good for a select few ready to but in a lot of work and possibly money? Well if it’s cute you can forget anyone even noticing about that part of the issue. They want it for their 90 year old grandma or for their 2 tiny children to play with. 

So follow along to learn how to read an actual bio in rescue. 

Energetic = HYPER

​Loves with everything it has = Will do everything 110%, everything as fast as it can. 

Constant companion = Clingy like the jealous girlfriend that won’t let you go to the bathroom by yourself because she thinks you’ll cheat on her. 

Doesn’t know his own size = Bull in a china shop

Likes to eat alone = food resource guarding

Doesn’t know how to share = resource guarding

Believes they are the king/queen/royalty = bossy, demanding

Let’s you know when someone is there = alert barker

Would love a running buddy = dogs insane keep looking

free spirit = stubborn, likes to do its own damn thing, good luck with training

talkative = barks a lot, won’t shut up

hound = will bark at everything and nothing, nonstop, can’t shut them up, forget walking like a normal person. 

Husky = hair, escape artist, hair, never runs out of energy, noisy

Not good with children = anything from too big and will knock them over, to resource guarding, to will eat your child

Tenacious = WILL NOT GIVE UP

scrappy = dog literally says “put’em up” when it meets other dogs or people. 

Little dog syndrome = will try to attack big dogs and at some point be eaten by one. 

Wants all the attention = needy and will not let anyone else around you

prefers to live alone = hates all other animals

Let’s you know what they want = demand barks

Takes you for a walk = drags you and doesn’t care

Chihuahua = mean, yappy, will probably take over your life

Likes to stop and smell the roses = either moves like a turtle or literally stops to smell everything along the way. 

Could play for hours = more energy than you’ll want to deal with

Needs training = no manners

Doberman = Mean as a snake or so friendly it wouldn’t protect you from a fly

Calm pitbull = Just kidding, no such words have ever been used

Picky about their friends = pretty much doesn’t like dogs

Likes to find just the right spot = will take forever to go to the bathroom

Never lived in a home = semi feral, not house broke, won’t know house rules

Needs time to warm up = is a jerk until it decides you are ok

Kennel Picasso = Likes to smear poop all over its kennel

Likes to hear the sound of their own voice = BARKS NONSTOP

Thinks he’s a lap dog = Will sit on you with his 100 lb butt

I hope these helped to clear up any confusion and you had a chuckle or two as well.